Puppets
by yaegerdesu
Summary: Inspired by the doujin, "Puppets," by Midnight Cat. (Rated T for one swear word...I think )


**A/N: Eyow! So I was browsing around for some YumiKuri doujins (not the adult rated ones at least -3-) I found one made by Midnight Cat and it struck me so deep in the feels that I thought: "I have to write about this." And so I did. Crappy as it may be, this is my interpretation, told from Ymir's POV. Enjoy! :D**

* * *

She's everything I have and all I ever will have. But sometimes, even the greatest things in life are the ones you have to sacrifice. I've always been destined to be a loner. It was what I was meant to be. A person surviving in this world without any need of caring whatsoever. Someone who lived in complete solitude.

I always thought that living my boring life out until it ended was all I was ever gonna do. I was a problematic person. I was violent, rude, and harsh. No one cared about me. But then, she just came into the picture. With her angelic voice and her calm yet piercing eyes, she broke through the walls that I built around myself. It didn't happen straight away though. I kept denying myself of the feelings that I had long locked away for safekeeping. But slowly, she made the fortress around me crumble. She reached into me and made me feel like a whole different person. She made me feel special and loved. And I felt like it too.

Minutes to hours, days into weeks...we spent as much time as we could together. And as every second passed, I fell deeper and deeper into the hole they call "love." But I wasn't sure if she felt the same. She was always too shy about her feelings and thoughts. Everytime, I try to ask her about her past, she would just smile and tell me that I'll just have to wait till she does answer my questions. After that, I just usually shrug it off and return her smile with a cheeky grin. I do want to know more about her but I'll let her do it in her own time and when she decides that she's ready too. I just don't want to lose her by being too annoying.

A year later and she graduated highschool and moved to college. I was so happy that she decided to attend the same college that I go too. It means that I'll get to see her often now, even if I am her seior by one year. She seemed pretty excited about it as well, she told me that she was happy since she knew at least one person here. I just merely shrugged it off and smiled. I guess life wasn't too bad after all.

But I was so wrong. I somehow forgot how skillful Krista was at almost everything. She was good academically, musically talented, and just an amazing person overall. And all of that, attracted more attention than expected. She got into clubs, got invited to parties and events, and she hung out more with people her age.

We would rarely see each other and if we did, we'd exchange a quick "Hello" before she gets dragged by one of her friends before we could even talk to each other. I tried calling, chatting, messaging but she was always either too busy or went somewhere. It didn't start long till I felt all worthless and sad again. I'm pretty sure she's happy and all. I mean, she has lots of friends now and she rarely contacts me so I guess, she is having fun living her life to the full. But in the end, I guess I was really meant to live this kind of torture.

* * *

During the next few months, I've started doing lots of things that tried to keep my mind from thinking about her. I got into drinking, gambling, and smoking. It was slowly killing me. I would arrive home at around 2 in the morning, bloodied and cut up from the fights that I manage to get myself into. I guess the physical pain wasn't as bad as the emotional pain that left a huge scar inside of me. Damn, that hurts more.

I continued this routine until a small knock on the door changed everything.

"Hello? Ymir, it's me," I hear a voice outside my door say. I immediately recognise who it is and I freeze in response. It's been so long. How am I supposed to explain myself?

"Ymir? I know you're in there! Your shoes are still outside!" Fuck. By now one would think that I should've already learnt the habit of taking my shoes in. Damn it, shoes! Curse you, god of shoes!

"Ymir? Please…open the door. I want to see you," Krista says, her voice as angelic as I can remember.

Making my mind up, I steel my nerves and open the front door. I was expecting her to shout at me, scold me for not keeping in touch all this time. But what I didn't expect was for her to jump and hug me. I was so shocked that I just stood there, frozen.

"You made me worry so much! Where have you been?" Krista cries out, her arms still wrapped around my neck.

I sigh and pry her arms off of me. "Krista, I should be asking you that. I've been here all this time. But you just never noticed me because you've been too busy lately. So here, I'll redirect that question. Krista…where have you been?"

Krista looks down at her feet, her fists clenched by her sides. "I'm sorry. I've just been so busy with classes and projects and-"

"And friends?" I finish for her. "It's true isn't it? You've gained so many new friends that you forgot about little ol' Ymir." I chuckle lightly and flinched ever so slightly, scared that I may have hinted anger, sadness, and grief in that chuckle. Oh well.

"N-no! Ymir! I truly am sorry! Okay, I'll admit it! I forgot about you, alright?! I had too many responsibilities to take care of that I totally forgot about you!" Krista shouts out while I stand there, trying to process what she's saying.

I look down at her and I ruffle her hair softly. "Well. I'm glad that you're apologising," I say, looking at Krista's expression, shifting from grief to hope. Most likely after hearing what I just said. "But I'm afraid that I'll have to end this here." I turn my eyes away because I know that I won't be able to handle the sight of Krista being confused and tearing up.

Before she could even say anything, I quickly continue on. "I'm sorry, Krista. But it's for both out sakes. When I first met you, I felt like I've changed. I thought: "I will protect and care for this person no matter what it takes." You were the only one I ever truly cared about." I am now slowly admitting my feelings and from the corner of my eye, I see Krista tearing up and quietly sobbing. I gulp and I finally find the strength to continue on.

"The thing is, Krista…I loved you. And I still do. And seeing you get taken away from me just hurts too damn much." I finally confess out loud. I turn around to see Krista, tears streaming down her face, her hands clasped over her mouth.

"As much as it hurts me to say this…I'm sorry. But I have to let you go. Because it's too much. I'm not enough for you and I never will be." I fight back tears and I steady my nerves. "Goodbye, Krista." And with that, I slowly lean down and capture her lips in a kiss. It was filled with passion. Despite the fact that it was my first and probably hers as well, it was beautiful. But it was a kiss that meant goodbye. A farewell now etched in both of our minds.

I pull myself away as much as it pained me to and stood up straight to see a shocked Krista. I start closing the door until Krista seemingly snaps out of it and tries to reason with me.

"Ymir! No, wait! We can work this out! I can always bring you with me whenever I hang out with people! Ymir! Stop!"

I finally close the door and I hear the lock click into place. I suddenly feel tired and exhausted. I hear a slight sliding noise and a few heartbroken sobs. This moment just makes me wish I was deaf. As I slowly move towards my room, I heard a voice. A quiet voice who whispered something so lightly that the wind could've easily whisked it away. I smile a pained smile and trudged towards my bed. It took all my willpower not to come out and just chase after Krista, tell her that I'm sorry, to tell her that I want to start again…but my decision's already been made. I can't back out now. Perhaps one day. One day I may just have the nerves to go back to her and ask her for forgiveness. But not today. Or tomorrow at the least. I can only repeat the short phrase that I heard not too long ago. I can only repeat it in my head and think of the better things to come in the future. For that voice said…

"I love you, too."


End file.
